The Stories We Will Tell

Words of Encouragement for the Soulful Trailblazers and He(art)ful Rebels

An audio recording is included as an invitation to experience the sacredness held within the voice (and tradition) of oral storytelling. If it resonates, please enjoy at your leisure - maybe curled up with a warm cuppa tea or held within the wild embrace of the magical natural world that surrounds you.

Mo ghrá go léir / All my love,

Erica

Have you ever felt like an outsider in this life?

As though, maybe everyone else has the directions or a rulebook on how to navigate this (often bizarre) existence; and somehow, your copy didn’t make it to your inbox?

Or, that there’s a script that others are living by; and you’ve been cast in the wrong play?

The square peg trying to fit through a round hole. 

If so, you are in good company, my friend. I, too, find myself sitting in this space these days. The grey haze of the in-between.

Right now, I feel like a seed, deep within the soil, praying to break through to the sunlight. It’s gotta happen soon - right?

During a recent call with a mentor, I was asked what I meant by living in the ‘greyness of the in-between’.

I shared that, it feels like I’ve been in a transitional phase for the past five years. These days, the in-between feels like I’m not (yet) the person I’ve been called here to be but I’m no longer who I was.

There’s this sense of feeling lost. Like I’m fumbling around in the foggy darkness and someone isn’t giving me the direction to where the light switch is.

And then, there’s this brilliantly fierce and fiery part of me that’s fighting so hard to hold onto the old me. I’ve coined her Tricky-Ricky. You see, Tricky-Ricky doesn’t know how to let go of the ghost of who I once was. And she’s putting up one helluva fight to hang on.

Because she’s scared.

And because she’s not quite ready to fully believe (or receive) the true presence and abiding support of the Otherworld.

How can she trust that it’s really there?

How does she know the road will rise to meet her? When she can’t see it in front of her.

She needs more proof. She needs to feel safe.

Just last week, after two particularly glorious days of creativity, community, and artistic connection, Tricky-Ricky paid me a visit - and I had a meltdown in the middle of my living room. 

Endless seas of salty tears streamed down my face, seeped with the fears of:

What will happen to me if I truly follow my artist’s heart? 

What if I trust the stirrings within my soul to create my own way and nothing happens?

What if I don’t survive? 

What if I end up penniless and struggling to pay for food and rent?

What if I’m viewed as crazy?

What if I’m ostracized from society?

And in the turbulent tides of my tears, my body and spirit exhausted from the journey, I said to my partner:

“Why can’t I just be normal? Why can’t I just be like everyone else?”

To which he lovingly offered:

“Why would you want to be?”

His words gently parted the chaotic spirals of my mind, offering a soothing moment for me to catch my breath - and come back to my body.   

All I could muster in response was:

Because I’m lonely.

Blazing your own trail can be exhausting. 

Following your heart can be terrifying.

And yet..

I know there’s a particular purpose placed within the hearts of those us who are called here to help others.

But there’s work involved.

There’s time invested.

And we have to go within ourselves first.

We have seek and then become the light we are searching for.

For years, I’ve been wading through the brush of societal norms and expectations that I’ve soaked up as my own.  I continue to dive deep within the wells of my shadows; while (often blindly) following my instinct and intuition down the meandering path to understand myself more deeply and why I am here, in this lifetime.

It’s not easy. Embarking on your journey to re-member and reclaim all the magical, mystical, soulfully whole parts of who you are will test you.

And yet, I undoubtedly know…

There is purpose in this path.

And, at this point, I can’t place the rose-coloured glasses back on. 

I’ve seen and know too much.

I know my shadows are some of my greatest teachers; they hold the memories of the hurt parts of me that were never heard.

I know the animal, plant, and elemental realms speak to us; they continue to show up as prominent guides of mine.

I know my ancestors sit just across the veil; the healed and whole whispering incantations of wisdom that run through the rivers of my blood and bones.

And I know the medicine that is found in our stories; the personal, the cultural. The painful, the triumphant.

For me personally, Irish mythology and folklore has awoken a wisdom deep within my DNA. Hearing and weaving stories of the sacred, powerful, women, queens and sovereignty goddesses of Éire, it’s as though the cultural parts of me that have felt severed and displaced from homeland, are slowing coming back together.

Brigid. Macha. The Morrígan. An Cailleach. Mis.

Are all a part of my sacred reckoning as I choose to rise.

And Tricky-Ricky can come along for the ride; she just needs a little more time, and little more proof, to know that she is safe.

If I can be honest though, as glorious as it is to know that my path is held and witnessed by those of the Other realm; I also carry a deep longing to connect in the physical world (whether in-person or online) with those who are following a similar calling.

Conversations with those who speak a similar soulful dialect.

As human beings we are wired for connection.

This is where the power of the circle comes in.

May this share be a bright a flare into the waters of the world, as a beacon of hope for those amoungst the waves of their soul imrama (journey);

May you know you are not alone.

Let’s take this journey together.

Communion can be a soothing balm for the weary and wandering. A lullaby for loneliness. Tinctures for our tender hearts. Recognition in our reflections.

Not to suppress or bi-pass the challenging parts of our experiences; but rather to sooth the edges of our reactivity. We need to hear what our hurt parts have to say - for they often know the remedy they need.

So, what stories are dwelling within you?

What stories are calling to you?

What stories are you collecting along your journey?

What stories need to be heard by you?

What stories needed to be shared by you?

And if you have a fiercely protective Tricky-Ricky of your own, what story do they need to hear to know that they are safe?

Can you hear what they have to say and then share a story that reassures them; so, you can bravely move forward together - with you courageously at the helm.

May your Otherworldly eye see;

What your heart knows;

As your soul reveals;

Where you’re destined to go.

For you see, there are no directions. There is no rulebook. There is no script for this worldly stage or for the role in this miraculous life you play.

As a soulful trailblazer and he(art)ful rebel you are colouring outside the lines. You are stepping outside of the box.

And you’ve been called to go first.

So, beautiful soul:

When you are tired, rest.

But don’t give up.

You have many a story to live.

Many a story to tell.

As we eagerly await (in circle) to hear them.

Mo ghrá go léir,

Erica

A sign that rests on my bookshelf at home. Made for me by my mother. The blue bird always makes me giggle.

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With this entry, it felt fitting to share with you an excerpt from Stars, Stones, and Shadows: A Heroine’s Tale.  Written and performed by yours truly, Stars, Stones, and Shadows was the inaugural performance of Into the Circle Theatre, and premiered at the Ottawa Fringe Festival in 2023.

Saoirse’s tale speaks of one woman's sacred journey towards re-membering and reclaiming the wisdom of her body, the power of her voice, and the magic of her spirit.  All while, guided and witnessed by some of Éire’s (Ireland) most prolific goddesses - and held within the embrace of The Burren caves.

An Cailleach Béare is a beloved guide in my own life, who has shown up for me in times of great initiation and transformation.  She feels of home.  She feels of sturdy bones and steadfast love.  She feels of Éire (the land) Herself.  To me, she is the energy of fierce compassion.  She is the mother bear.  Intuitive and instinctive.  She does not coddle; she initiates, guides, and bears witness to you and your sacred journey of re-membering who you are.

When I feel overwhelmed by the worry of “how will I make things work?” or consumed by thoughts of “how do I navigate this physical modern world?”, I lean into the wisdom and medicine offer an Cailleach that has emerged through the stories I’ve told.  She’s there (and so am I) with purpose.

So while, in the northern hemisphere, her physical presence within the landscape is waning, may the love and reverence I have for her be found within the soundscape of this portion of Saoirse’s tale.

With Irish, French, and German ancestry, Erica continues to be reverently grateful to the traditional spirits and land keepers (past, present, and forth-coming) of the unceded and unsurrendered territory of the Algonquin Anishinabeg Nation; where she was born, raised, and currently resides.

Míle buíochas for the opportunity to live, create, and walk alongside you.

If you enjoyed this piece, I would be honoured if you felt called to share, follow, and/or subscribe to Weavings of the Wise & Embodied.

I would also love to hear from you. Please feel welcome to share what resonated and/or what type of virtual gatherings could support the gathering of all of our stories.

In addition relishing in sacred tales, Erica also holds space for others along their journey as a spiritual counsellor. If you are seeking 1:1 support, please feel welcome to reach out.

Until we meet in circle again.

Míle buíochas for journeying alongside me.

Erica